Many people believe that global warming is a serious issue. Cars are widely used in cities. Some people think we should reduce car usage.
問題点: トピック(地球温暖化)と主張(車の使用削減)との間に論理的なつながりが薄い。
● 良い例:
Many people believe that global warming is a serious issue because of the rising levels of greenhouse gases. One major contributor to these emissions is the widespread use of cars in cities. To address this, some argue that reducing car usage is a crucial step.
改善点:
論理的なつながりを明確化(原因→影響→解決策)。
文同士がスムーズに接続している。
コヒージョン(Cohesion)
定義: 適切な接続詞や代名詞、文構造を使い、文と文がしっかりつながっていること。
※ 具体例
● 良くない例
People enjoy fast food. It is unhealthy. It is cheap. It is convenient.
問題点: 短い文が羅列され、つながりが弱い。
● 良い例:
While people enjoy fast food because it is cheap and convenient, it is also unhealthy. This raises concerns about its long-term impact on public health.
改善点:
● 接続詞(”While”)で対比を示す。
● 代名詞(”This”)を使って内容をつなげる。
● 一文に複数のアイデアを含む構造で滑らかに展開。
コヒーレンスとコヒージョンを向上させるポイント
● 段落構成を明確にする
● 各段落に1つの主張を持たせ、論点を明確化する。
例: 段落1: 地球温暖化の原因 段落2: 解決策(車の使用削減) 段落3: 利点と懸念
接続詞を効果的に使う
● 原因を示す: because, due to
● 結果を示す: therefore, as a result
● 対比を示す: however, on the other hand
例文:
Global warming is largely caused by human activities, such as the burning of fossil fuels. Therefore, transitioning to renewable energy sources is essential to mitigate its effects.
代名詞や参照表現を活用する
重複を避けるために代名詞(this, it, such)を使う。
例文:
Many countries rely on coal for energy production. This dependency, however, leads to significant carbon emissions.
論理的な流れを作る
各文が前後の文とつながっているか確認する。
例文:
Reducing car usage can lower greenhouse gas emissions. Additionally, it can reduce air pollution in urban areas, leading to improved public health.
まとめ:両者を活用した例文
Global warming is one of the most pressing issues of our time. This problem is largely caused by human activities, particularly the burning of fossil fuels. As a result, countries around the world are exploring renewable energy sources. However, the transition to green energy requires significant investment and time. Despite these challenges, it is essential to act now to prevent irreversible damage to the environment.
● コヒーレンス: 地球温暖化の原因→影響→解決策→課題→必要性という論理的な流れ。
● コヒージョン: 接続詞(”As a result”, “However”, “Despite”)や代名詞(”This problem”, “it”)を使用。
● Tick away: (時計が)時を刻む、(時間が)経過する The minutes ticked away as we waited nervously for the test results. テスト結果を緊張しながら待っている間に、時間が刻々と過ぎていった。
● Tick by: (時間が)ゆっくり過ぎる The hours ticked by as she worked late into the night. 彼女が夜遅くまで働いている間に、時間がゆっくり過ぎていった。
● Tick over: (エンジンなどが)アイドリングする、(仕事や状況が)停滞せず進む Even during the holidays, the business kept ticking over thanks to our dedicated staff. 休暇中でも、献身的なスタッフのおかげで事業は滞ることなく進んでいた。
● What makes someone tick: (人を)動かす原動力や動機 Understanding what makes her tick will help you work with her better. 彼女を動かしているものを理解すれば、より良い協力ができるだろう。
※ プロンプト: Some people believe that governments should spend money on public transportation instead of building new roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
※ キーワードを分析:
governments: 政府が主体。 spend money on public transportation: 公共交通機関への投資。 building new roads: 新しい道路の建設との対比。
誤りがある文: “People has different opinions about climate change.” 誤り: 主語 “People”(複数形)に対して動詞 “has”(単数形)が使われている。
正しい文: “People have different opinions about climate change.” 修正: 主語と動詞の一致を修正。
● 別の例:
誤りがある文: “If we will recycle more, the environment can be saved.” 誤り: 条件節で未来形 “will” を使用している(規則違反)。
正しい文: “If we recycle more, the environment can be saved.” 修正: 条件節の “if” 節は現在形を使う。
2. 文法の多様性
ポイント: 単調な文構造を避け、多様な文法構造を使うこと。
具体例:
● 単調な文: “Tourism is important. It creates jobs. It boosts the economy.”
問題点: 短い単文が続き、構文が単調。
● 多様な構造を使用した文:
“Tourism is important because it creates jobs and boosts the economy, which benefits local communities significantly.”
● 修正ポイント: 従属節: “because it creates jobs and boosts the economy” を使用。 関係詞: “which benefits local communities significantly” を追加。 接続詞: “and” を適切に使用して文をつなげる。
その他の例:
● 単調な文: “Global warming is a serious issue. Governments should act immediately.”
● 多様な構造を使用した文: “Global warming, being a serious issue, requires immediate action from governments.”
● 文法的工夫: 分詞構文 “being a serious issue” を使用。 主語と動詞を適切に組み合わせ、スムーズな文章に。
● 多様な時制を使う: 現在形、過去形、未来形、完了形を適切に使い分ける。 例: “In the past, people relied on traditional methods, but nowadays, technology plays a vital role in every aspect of life.”
● パラフレーズを活用: 同じ意味の表現を異なる構文で表す。 例: “Smoking is harmful to health.” → “The detrimental effects of smoking on health cannot be overstated.”
Many people believe that global warming is a serious issue. Cars are widely used in cities. Some people think we should reduce car usage.
問題点: トピック(地球温暖化)と主張(車の使用削減)との間に論理的なつながりが薄い。
● 良い例:
Many people believe that global warming is a serious issue because of the rising levels of greenhouse gases. One major contributor to these emissions is the widespread use of cars in cities. To address this, some argue that reducing car usage is a crucial step.
改善点:
論理的なつながりを明確化(原因→影響→解決策)。
文同士がスムーズに接続している。
コヒージョン(Cohesion)
定義: 適切な接続詞や代名詞、文構造を使い、文と文がしっかりつながっていること。
※ 具体例
● 良くない例
People enjoy fast food. It is unhealthy. It is cheap. It is convenient.
問題点: 短い文が羅列され、つながりが弱い。
● 良い例:
While people enjoy fast food because it is cheap and convenient, it is also unhealthy. This raises concerns about its long-term impact on public health.
改善点:
● 接続詞(”While”)で対比を示す。
● 代名詞(”This”)を使って内容をつなげる。
● 一文に複数のアイデアを含む構造で滑らかに展開。
コヒーレンスとコヒージョンを向上させるポイント
● 段落構成を明確にする
● 各段落に1つの主張を持たせ、論点を明確化する。
例: 段落1: 地球温暖化の原因 段落2: 解決策(車の使用削減) 段落3: 利点と懸念
接続詞を効果的に使う
● 原因を示す: because, due to
● 結果を示す: therefore, as a result
● 対比を示す: however, on the other hand
例文:
Global warming is largely caused by human activities, such as the burning of fossil fuels. Therefore, transitioning to renewable energy sources is essential to mitigate its effects.
代名詞や参照表現を活用する
重複を避けるために代名詞(this, it, such)を使う。
例文:
Many countries rely on coal for energy production. This dependency, however, leads to significant carbon emissions.
論理的な流れを作る
各文が前後の文とつながっているか確認する。
例文:
Reducing car usage can lower greenhouse gas emissions. Additionally, it can reduce air pollution in urban areas, leading to improved public health.
まとめ:両者を活用した例文
Global warming is one of the most pressing issues of our time. This problem is largely caused by human activities, particularly the burning of fossil fuels. As a result, countries around the world are exploring renewable energy sources. However, the transition to green energy requires significant investment and time. Despite these challenges, it is essential to act now to prevent irreversible damage to the environment.
● コヒーレンス: 地球温暖化の原因→影響→解決策→課題→必要性という論理的な流れ。
● コヒージョン: 接続詞(”As a result”, “However”, “Despite”)や代名詞(”This problem”, “it”)を使用。
誤りがある文: “People has different opinions about climate change.” 誤り: 主語 “People”(複数形)に対して動詞 “has”(単数形)が使われている。
正しい文: “People have different opinions about climate change.” 修正: 主語と動詞の一致を修正。
● 別の例:
誤りがある文: “If we will recycle more, the environment can be saved.” 誤り: 条件節で未来形 “will” を使用している(規則違反)。
正しい文: “If we recycle more, the environment can be saved.” 修正: 条件節の “if” 節は現在形を使う。
2. 文法の多様性
ポイント: 単調な文構造を避け、多様な文法構造を使うこと。
具体例:
● 単調な文: “Tourism is important. It creates jobs. It boosts the economy.”
問題点: 短い単文が続き、構文が単調。
● 多様な構造を使用した文:
“Tourism is important because it creates jobs and boosts the economy, which benefits local communities significantly.”
● 修正ポイント: 従属節: “because it creates jobs and boosts the economy” を使用。 関係詞: “which benefits local communities significantly” を追加。 接続詞: “and” を適切に使用して文をつなげる。
その他の例:
● 単調な文: “Global warming is a serious issue. Governments should act immediately.”
● 多様な構造を使用した文: “Global warming, being a serious issue, requires immediate action from governments.”
● 文法的工夫: 分詞構文 “being a serious issue” を使用。 主語と動詞を適切に組み合わせ、スムーズな文章に。
● 多様な時制を使う: 現在形、過去形、未来形、完了形を適切に使い分ける。 例: “In the past, people relied on traditional methods, but nowadays, technology plays a vital role in every aspect of life.”
● パラフレーズを活用: 同じ意味の表現を異なる構文で表す。 例: “Smoking is harmful to health.” → “The detrimental effects of smoking on health cannot be overstated.”
例文: Original: It is important to improve public transportation. Improved: It is crucial to enhance public transportation. Enhanced: The improvement of public transportation is essential.
例文: Basic: Many people think that global warming is a problem.
Advanced: A significant number of individuals believe that global warming constitutes a pressing global issue.
語彙の正確さとニュアンスの理解 語彙を使う際、微妙なニュアンスや文脈を誤解しないように注意します。
Incorrect: The policy had a huge impact on society. 「huge」は日常的すぎる表現。
Correct: The policy had a profound impact on society. 「profound」は、影響が深いというニュアンスを強調。
総合例 題目:環境保護における政府の役割 Basic: The government should spend money to save the environment. Advanced: Governments should allocate substantial resources to implement effective environmental preservation initiatives.